I found myself just sighing as I prayed today because I didn't even know what to say. Every prayer request fell flat. I'd start praying about something and just end up saying, "I don't even know what to pray for, God. You know best. I know nothing. Please just help."

Like praying for our adoption, for instance. I've prayed the prayers a thousand times...which I think is Biblical...to be persistent with our prayers. But today it was kind of like, "I don't know, God. I've said all I can say and I don't know what's best anyway." I can pray for God to move more quickly so we get our kids earlier, but is that really the wisest thing to pray for? Isn't it much more wise to just ask God to orchestrate the whole thing? To watch over our kids and for Him to teach Erin and I in the process? I mean, what if we keep praying for God to give us our kids earlier and it's actually NOT the best thing for us or our kids? If we trust God, then we shouldn't insist He do things our way.

And as much as I've consistently grown in my faith over the years, I still feel completely infantile sometimes. I'm constantly learning new things...which is great. But it's like, "How the heck did I miss that all this time? It's sooooo obvious!"

I've learned a ton and yet I still know nothing.

We can spend hours upon hours discussing theology and trying to figure God out, and we should. But at the end of the day all we need to know is that He's bigger than us and that He loves us perfectly. You can absolutely rest in the fact that you don't need to have all the answers. He's more than capable of running the universe without you.

It may sound like I was frustrated with my prayers this morning, but nothing could be further from the truth. It was peaceful. It was reassuring. It was freeing. The sighs were good sighs.

What are you praying for? And have you really surrendered it to the all-powerful and loving God of the universe? Will it throw your faith into a tailspin if God doesn't do things the way you think they should be done? What if He doesn't give you the job you've been praying for? Or heal the person you've been lifting up? Is He still on His throne or will you lose some respect and trust for God if He allows thousands of innocent deaths from a terrible earthquake or hurricane or war?

Either you trust that God knows what He's doing and has everyone's best interest in mind or you don't. Do you really want Him to be in control?