I've been struggling with something spiritually ever since Colorado. As I've blogged about before, I HATE it when Christians don’t answer questions about their faith very well…when they just say, “you’ve just got to have faith!” There’s SO much more to it than that. Of course, faith is a huge part of it at some point, but God gave us a brain. He gave us logic. All of creation points to Him. Well, in Colorado I spent most of every second looking at everything through the eyes of an agnostic...and it affected me. I found myself feeling…different. I found myself questioning EVERYTHING. Not necessarily doubting, but wondering about things. It was really starting to bother me.

I’ve only just this morning come to this realization - that is, that I have been looking at everything through the eyes of an agnostic. Now, I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing to do. In fact, I think it’s crucial people who profess to be Christians do this from time to time. Too many Christians just say they believe without ever really having thought about it. Consequently, they’re not “ready to give an answer for the hope that they have.” But as I came back from CO, I found myself second-guessing everything. Nit-picking. Over-analyzing. I’ve been playing devil’s advocate with myself. With any aspect or thought of theology, I've been trying to pick it apart, just to see if I could. And I could (gasp!).

But here's the deal. The thing is, if you want to argue a point, there’s ALWAYS a way. Am I right or am I right? It's the nature of arguments. And the problem is that it then stops becoming a matter of what's true and it starts becoming a matter of making your point.

You can argue about anything...and yet, with all the theories floating around out there as to what is true, there can only be ONE true thing and everything eles is, well, wrong. I'm sorry if that offends anybody, but it's true. God either exists or He doesn't. Jesus either is God's Son or He's not. He either...well...you get the point. The person who believes and the person who doesn't believe can't both be right. And just because you argue against something that's true does not in-and-of- itself make it not true. You can argue about anything.

You can’t prove Christianity. At least not in a way that would satisfy the mind of a skeptic. Chances are, God’s not going to do something to MAKE you believe in Him or the story of the Bible. It just doesn’t work that way. Sometimes I wish it DID work that way. But honestly, I feel like if God did that, I would feel cheated in a way. Like I was too weak-minded or stubborn to really believe in Him unless He proved it. And I think that perhaps that's why He doesn't step in and prove it. I don't think He wants to have to prove Himself. He wants our faith to be pure - a faith that can only exist seperate from proof. I can have faith in this chair I'm sitting in - which I can see with my own eyes - that it exists and will hold me up. But that really doesn't take too much faith to believe in this chair, you know? It's pretty obvious. I don't think God wants to be "obvious." He wants for you to have genuine, untampered-with faith.

You can't prove Christianity, but then again, you can’t prove anything else, can you? You certainly can’t prove “evolution.” You can’t prove Hinduism or Buddhism or anything else. Just a cursory study of Hinduism or Buddhism helps you understand the vast different between them and Christianity…primarily in the fact that it’s really just a bunch of moral teachings with made by a man who lived, came up with theories, and died like just like everyone else. They offer no explanation of…well…anything. Some good moral thoughts and all, but honestly, nothing new (try saying that about the Bible!). The same is true for the teachings of Muhammad (Islam) or Ghandi. It’s all just one guy who makes a bunch of claims and writes them down. The Bible, on the other hand, was written by over 40 people from all walks of life over a span of at least 1,400 years – and none of it by Jesus Himself. In fact, He doesn’t even come until ¾ of the way through! Go ahead. Compare the Bible next to the Q'ran or the teachings of any other religious writings. You'll notice HUGE differences. The Bible's the only one that offers any explanations.

And I just can’t understand Atheism. I don't think it's because I grew up in a church. Some people believe in God just because they don't like the thought of there NOT being a God. But to me, the proof is in the pudding. =O) I just can't fathom how people can honestly look around us and say without a doubt that there is no God. We got here somehow. I could go on and on about that, but to me, it all clearly points to a Creator. This was no accident. I have trouble believing that anyone who insists God does not exist feels very confident about it.

I say, study it all. Learn. Seek truth. And you will find that it all points to the God of the Bible and to the story of Jesus. It makes the most sense. Really. It explains it all. No, you can’t “prove” it. But you can use your head and logically conclude that it must be true. And so, of course, it DOES take faith at some point. But it’s not a blind faith. It’s a logical, thought-out faith with foundation and meaning.

If you're reading this and you're checking out the whole "Christianity" thing but refuse to "buy" it unless you can prove it, let me say this. You can't prove it. And you can't prove any other theory that you or anyone else has ever concocted either. But that doesn't mean that truth doesn't exist. Of course it exists! We're here aren't we?! You can either go your whole life being stubborn and saying we'll just never know, or you can study and research and seek the truth. But if you seek the truth, you should know that at some point, no matter WHAT you say you believe or don't believe, it will have required at least "a step" of faith to get there. I believe that seeking the honest truth will strongly point you to Christianity and therefore, it will only take a "step" of faith to get there. But it's a step none-the-less. Evolution, Hinduism, Islam, Buddhism and any other "ism" you can come up I think requires more of a leap than a step.

Any way you slice it, you're putting your faith in something you can't prove...or you're just wandering aimlessly wishing you could prove something.

I know it's not always easy, but I for one am glad God does things the way He does. And I'm grateful for times of growth. My roots are now deeper than ever.